Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Listening Is Effective In Communication


<p>Picture: <a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/gallery-1613585p1.html?cr=00&pl=edit-00">giulio napolitano</a>/<a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/?cr=00&pl=edit-00">Shutterstock.com</a></p>An anonymous poster showed me an article which can be found here.  The article is entitled "Pope warns clergy on 'celibate life lived as sterility.'"  According to the article, there are many priests and bishops who hold in a lot of anger and frustrations.  Priests are angry at each other and even at their bishops, but rather than resolving these issues they hold in the anger and frustrations. 

After reading this article, this reminded me of the Neocatechumenal Way communities.  In the Way, we also have anger and frustrations with a brother or sister; however, we learned not to hold these frustrations inside us.  We confront the brother and sister, usually in the convivience.  In time, we learned to forgive each other and move on.  This is one of the miracles that one finds in the Way.  Anger is normal.  Everyone gets angry.  But to dispel the anger and find peace, it starts with forgiveness.   

Perhaps, if these priests were in a community and attended a convivience where they voice their complaints, things would not get so complicated as it is now.  In the community, we find that we are no better than the other.  According to the article (the bold is my emphasis): 

Say it to his face," the pope recommended. "You're a man, so if you have something against your bishop, go and tell him. There may be consequences, but pick up your cross, be a man!"

For every good or bad thing, there are always consequences.  However, it is always best to receive good consequences rather than bad ones.  Therefore, before facing the bishop it is always helpful for the priest to learn some effective communication skills.  Listening is part of effective communication.  Many times, people hear, but they do not listen.  There is a difference between hearing and listening.  Listening involves understanding.  The article goes on to state further: 

Pope Francis told the priests it is normal and even "healthy" to get angry, but wallowing in that, not getting it off his chest, not airing differences directly, but talking behind someone's back cause more damage.

The key to a fruitful life, the pope said, lies in "double fidelity and double transcendence: being faithful to God is seeking him, opening oneself to him in prayer, remembering that he is the faithful one," and "opening oneself to others" with empathy, respect and patience.

In communicating with others, it is important that we open ourselves to others with empathy, respect, and patience.  This part is certainly clear.  In no way is Pope Francis saying that a priest should go in yelling at the Bishop and calling him a liar.  He is saying to confront your bishop with empathy, respect, and patience.  

After reading this, I think that Pope Francis will agree with Archbishop Krebs.  In this article, the Pope said that if priests have problems with each other or even with their Bishop, they should confront the person.  In other words, deal with your internal problems yourselves.    

23 comments:

  1. Yeah! The Nuncio will be returning very, very, soon! Yipeee!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Anonymous at 10:00 p.m.,

      You did not listen, did you?

      Delete
    2. Good one Diana. Thanks to that anonymous who shared this. I belong to a Catholic Church not by my own Authority but by Apostolic succession not Tim Rohr's.

      Delete
    3. That is right Diana, I do not listen anymore, nor do I obey. This all happened the day I left the community in Tamuning.

      Delete
    4. Dear Anonymous at 7;04 a.m.,

      So, you do not listen anymore. Does this mean that you not listen to your spouse to or your children or anyone of your loved ones???

      Delete
    5. Diana, I don't listen anymore to the the NCW. The controlling you have over mind over matter was just out of this world.

      Delete
    6. Dear Anonymous at 9:01 a.m.,

      The NCW was most likely never for you anyway. If the NCW was really controlling as you say, then you would not have the choice to leave in the first place. The fact that you left showed that it had no more control of you than it does of me. I also have the choice to leave if I want to, but I chose to stay because I saw miracles happening in the community with the brothers. I see mission families give up everything for Christ to evangelize in other countries. I see young people staying for a 2 hour Mass on a Saturday evening and going to Scutacio every month.

      Delete
    7. then Diana why is it that you have not volunteered to be a missionary? Syria and the Middle east are in crisis, maybe you should go there!

      Delete
    8. Dear Anonymous at 10:32 a.m.,

      You chose those countries because you wish me dead???

      Delete
    9. those countries need your enlightening words. it is here in these countries where upheaval is in most need of your preaching. isn't it your mission to bring evangelization to those who are non believers?

      Delete
    10. Dear Anonymous at 11:46 a.m.,

      Have you not heard?? The NCW is already in the Middle East.

      Delete
    11. AnonymousJuly 31, 2014 at 11:46 AM the way is been around all over the world in mission. But you don't put something in a mission that is just going to die in a short time.The mission will be a failure. Even the Jesuit and Franciscan knew about this before they enter. Come on, this is another shape of form of mockery statement. Motivated with hate and prejudice.

      Delete
    12. So the Catholic church dies and Kikos church rises! It has been foretold that the church must be destroyed and a new church will be built. The seat of Peter will no longer be in Rome but in Jerusalem. Is this the reason for building your huge head quarters Dominus whateber! Prophecy!!!!

      Delete
    13. Dear Anonymous at 9:01 a.m,

      I agree with Diana. I think the NCW was not for you. You are evidently able to think for yourself, whereas the NCW wants only those who are irrational, submissive and generally suffering from mental illness, like Diana. I suspect that for those people, the NCW is actually quite effective at keeping full madness at bay, but only just.

      Don't worry though. Although the Church moves slowly at times, the NCW is doomed to end badly, because all such cults of personality eventually die away. The so-called "fruits" are actually just those plastic table ornaments, which will one day go out of fashion.

      Congratulations on extricating yourself from the clutches of the crazies.

      Delete
    14. Dear Anonymous at 12:46 p.m.,

      I have no idea where you got this idea.

      Delete
    15. Dear Anonymous at 9:01 a.m,

      Normally, I would delete such comments as your, but I decided to publish it to show the attitude of some of the individuals in the other camp. If you really believe that we are doomed to end badly, then all you need to do is ignore us rather than bad-mouth us. In other words, if you really believe that we would fall because the NCW is not from God, then leave the NCW alone to go about its duties in evangelizing.

      Acts 5:38-39 Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.”

      Delete
  2. I am informing you that the Nuncio will be returning very soon. Check your scources. It will be sooner than you think.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let him come. He told you guys and you continue to gripe.

      Delete
  3. Thank you Diana,

    I read 3rd John 9-11 earllier. Not speaking about a specfic priest or priests but the issue of disobedience existed even then. I like what the Pope said...be a man. Problem is maybe some priest want to be the man. Instead of being the submissive servant, seeking lost souls, they too busy scheduling meetings and events that fills the pride. Enough,...it's.time to reflect on......for he Jesus Christ may increase and I decrease.

    ReplyDelete
  4. A few quotes from saints come to mind but to keep it short, I'd just like to post the following one from St. John Chrysostom: "He who honors a priest, honors Christ. He who insults a priest, insults Christ." I truly wonder if Tim & crew even stop to think about this. Their words and actions certainly don't convey this, unfortunately.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Memory fails but someone wrote....you are not responsible for how someone receives the truth but you are responsible to proclaim the truth. We are blessed with all....all of our priest but we need to follow the word.

    ReplyDelete
  6. A simple question. If the Vatican were to terminate Kiko as a "consultor" would he still be in charge of the way or would the way obey the Vatican? The true test of a cult is what happens when the "leader" is vanquished.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Anonymous at 7:15 a.m.,

      If Kiko were to found to be going against the Catholic Church, the Way would either be disbanded or taken over by the Vatican. If Kiko passes away, the Vatican made sure (through our Statutes) that another will be elected.

      Delete